hello anxiety

oh man, i am scared scared scared! maybe buying an apartment is a bad idea. i'm lost in a sea of terms i do not understand, like "offering plan" and "due diligence." i just hired a home inspector that i found on the internet. is that bad?

all i want is to move out of my current shitty apartment and buy all new furniture and live happily ever after. why is that so complicated? i just want to relax in my jacuzzi tub; cook loaves of zucchini bread in my spacious kitchen and store them in my regular-sized freezer; lounge in a chair in my damn sitting room with red walls and those shelves from restoration hardware i've been eyeing. let's go!

i am simply not a patient person. i want want want everyting RIGHT AWAY and it's so hard to calm down, appreciate the moment, and just wait. so hard.

help me.